Weird Ramblings

Join my Army! Fight for Cheese!

The time has come. France is about to be overridden by an evil force. This mechanical maniac, Nick, wants to destroy France and its cheese with it. We cannot allow this. Without France, hundreds of poor children will be French-Cheese deprived. All the leprechauns will die. My friend Larry will bite off his toenails because he is so nervous. But we can overcome this menace! We will crush him into the dust! We will tie him up by his ears to a giant statue of a warthog! We will take his lunch money! (With permission, of course.) Our base of operations will be Sweden, because I like Sweden. After we set up our base, we will go to Micky D's for lunch. Then we will begin our attack on the evil forces of nick. When we reach the France, we will attack nick with our armies of half-robotic lobsters, destroying his mutant hamsters one by one. Then, we will send in our cheese bombers to bomb him with cheese! Soon, he will have to surrender to the power of cheese. Once he is weakened, we will call in the leprecons, who will scatter his troops like fries. Then, when we have nick, alone, we will feed him our secret weopen: Llama-energised cheese. He will become a Llama, and we will rejoice.
Join The Cheese Army!! :-)
Join The Cheese Army!!! :-)

posted by Tree Bito @ 9:26 PM 2 comments

I guess I have to do another post. Darn.

Today, as I was walking home from Expressos 'R' Us, the best store in the universe, I met up with my good friend, Bob the leprechaun. Leprechauns, as I and my insane friends know,do exist in small colonies off the coast of France. (Please don't destroy them Nick! They are my most bestest friends in the whole world!) They use their magic spells to contort reality into any shape they please, which of course makes them awesome. Sadly, Leprechauns are being hunted by poodle-like beings with robotic exoskeletons (yes, I do mean you, Nick!) for usage as "garden gnomes." They are frozen in carbonite and spray-painted to achieve this process. This is why we are seeing less and less every day. Bach to buisiness. Leprechauns, besides being magical, they are also very cute. Occasionally, they become so friendly with humans that they stalk humans for fun. When the person turns around, he just sees a garden gnome a few feet behind him, and he continues on. The Leprechauns find pleasure in this, sometimes so much that they screech (supersonic, of course) with glee. This causes a disturbance in the space-time continuum that can turn your hair purple if you look at it under an ultraviolet filter. Try it sometime! Weeeeeeeeeeeeel... My freind Bob was just on his way back from the magical forest and wanted to pop in to say hello. He came in and I lifted him onto the baby stool and fed him some pasta. He then tould me of an evil thing coming in the future that he saw, or will see, with his own eyes. He tould me of a day where nobody would eat cheese. I fell to the floor, screaming and wheezing, and exclaimed that the tea was a bit hot and asked him to repeat the thing he said about cheese. When he really tould me, I wobbled with horror. A day without cheese? Wasn't that a film in the sixeties or something? He said no. So I got out my pitchfork and planned a brilliant commando raid on some warehouse in Texas. When I had successfully tould the security guards to leave me alone, I went into the warehouse and found my prize. A special edition 2005 cheese cutting knife! I grabbed It and began to, umm, slice the chedder. Soon I had 5,610,231,008 individual slices of cheese! I injected a strain of DNA I extracted from a Llama into each cheese, and mailed the cheeses all around the world! Soon people will all become Llamas, and I will capture them all and make them eat cheese! Forget France! I'm taking on the world!!! ~ :-D

posted by Tree Bito @ 7:29 PM 0 comments

The votes are in. My annual pie destruction project has been finished. (See early archives.) And the winner has been choses! Congrats, Llama. Your alien utilising method beats all. You win this imaginary trophey! Yay!

posted by Tree Bito @ 10:30 PM 1 comments

Not a good Idea

One day, I was reading utter nonsense when I noticed the new, chic, totally 00's idea of invading france. I decided to give it a shot. (Man, was I practicly dying for some cooked clam.) I loaded up my mom's Honda with my phaser gun, my army of yellow, radioactive beavers, and my belly button lint collection (go innies!) and took off to Le France. When I got there, I built a few million giant robots, released the mutant beavers (donated to me by Nick) and started capturing citizens and forcing them to pledge alliegence to cheese. Everything was going just peachy when I realized that the French loved le fromage, or as us Americanians say it, cheese. I humbly appoligized and began to level Brazill.

posted by Tree Bito @ 10:12 PM 0 comments

Escape from Salami Land!

If you have ever found yourself craving salami 24/7, do not be alarmed.

Be very, very afraid. You have entered... The Salami Zone! Things you once believed are no longer real. Real food will no longer taste like food. If you do nothing, soon you will become a Salami Wraith.

This situation is GRIM. Special Doctors who see special doctors have determined that not eating your ani-mangos can trigger Impulsive Salami Dysfunctional Antialiased syndrome. This will cause rapid salami growth, usualy ending in high salami cholestral.

The moral of the story is...

EAT YOUR ANI-MANGOS!

posted by Tree Bito @ 9:35 PM 0 comments

Children's Storytime

Come, children, come and hear a wonderful story that will warm your heart!

Once upon a time, there was a small, timid child named Bob. He was walking by the beach one day when he saw a lobster.

Editor's Note: Lobsters, as you know, are vicious monstrosities of the sea that have drowned many a ship with their huge, deadly claws.

Bob picked up the lobster. It was fairly cute, with its big eyes and colorful claws.

Editor's Note: Lobsters' claws are horrendously deadly, and should be avoided at all costs if you want to live. One claw can cut through three layers of reinforced concrete.

Bob was then startled, as the lobster's claw nipped his finger.

Editor's Note: Bob, as you can guess, was soon dead. The evil lobster had obviously killed him, and eaten him as a feast. Bwuhahaha!

Goodbye, children! I hope you've enjoled today's story!

posted by Tree Bito @ 5:48 PM 1 comments

My Awesome New Thing!!!!!!!! :-)

I set up a cool Forum in addition to my blog!
You can get to it HERE!
Hope you en-joy it!

posted by Tree Bito @ 5:40 PM 0 comments

Cool!

I have just discovered a very cool site called Muffin Films. It has many AMAZING cartoons about muffins, and should be noticed. Schlurp!

(Don't forger to check out Llama's Site and this thing!

posted by Tree Bito @ 3:18 PM 0 comments

Poetry Corner 2

FRIES (FRENCH)

Ah, fritures.
Comment savoureux votre texture.
Je vous mange au NcDonald's
Avec plaisir.

Votre peau frite jaune ridée
Fournit un excellent goût
Qui je savor de volonté aujourd'hui.

J'espère
Que vous serez bientôt servi à notre école
Pour moi seriez si heureux
Et crieriez avec allégresse.

Ah, les fritures,
Ah, ah, fritures,
Vous goûtez bon.

posted by Tree Bito @ 3:39 PM 0 comments