Sorry Folks But You Have To Read This
I am a shamed. I have not updated my site for a very long time (my cheese is sorry too.)The reason is so long and complex that I will explain it right here, so please sit down, pop some popcorn, and wait tensively for the apocalypse.
Last whenever, I was in my front lawn, trying to cantact aliens, when a red convertible pulled up my driveway. In it sat Bimbo, the escaped monkey from the Zoo. I asked him what he was doing on a fine day like this when he showed me his completed script for Hamlet. I was astonished. I never thought Bimbo liked the works of Shakespeare. He always seemed more a fan of J. K. Rowling. He asked me if I could get it published. I agreed, and he handed me the script, and I faxed it to some publishing company, where the trouble began.
Now, my fax machine is an odd thing. I did not have time or money to buy one of those fancy-shmancey "HI-TECH" fax machines with "INK" or "PAPER" or "BUTTON PANELS". No, I decided I'd build my own. I simply hooked up my smoothie blender to my lawnmower and hooked it into a telo-phone line and I had a great fax machine. The only problem was the high probability of opening a trans-dimentional warpfield into the fifth dimention, which always seems to happen around teatime. This, obviously, was what happened.
When I came to, I adjusted my eyes to the nuclear photonic light that radiated from all three suns of the planet of Vel~46|P, and realized that Bimbo's script was not arriving anytime soon. I expressed my worries to an intelligent lifeform of the fifth dimention, who appears to our eyes as a small stone. (Perhaps it was just a small stone. I will never know.) When I became sort of tired of this new, alien frontier, I decided to jump into the nearest passing wormhole, where I discovered myself to be here, 3 days into the future from when I had started to think about this. I will now sign off for a nice cup of expresso.
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